November 15th, 2009 
Cindy 
Sarah Palin has been heating up the interview circuit with the headlines, “I was devastated when I heard that Bristol was pregnant. I didn’t even know she was having sex.”
I really think she could have found some better words to describe how she felt. Or at least I would hope that she indeed feel a little differently than “devastated.”
My first reaction to seeing this in print was that I feel sorry for Bristol and what kind of crap she must hear from her mother. I’m sure Bristol wasn’t too thrilled with the pregnancy either and was quite aware of what the news would do to her mother. But to tell the world that your daughter “devastated” you does loads to Bristol’s self esteem. I could just imagine what Sarah had to say…”you’ve ruined my reputation, what are people going to say, how could you do this to me, blah, blah, blah.
I really hope that somewhere in their relationship they were able to intelligently talk about what had happened, what Bristol’s options were, and how they could come together as a family in that stressful time.
“Devastated”, Just rubs me the wrong way.
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I totaly disgree with you…. I think she was telling the truth about her feeling and to say anything other than what she was feeling from the experiance would be deceptive….
My 18-year old son came home a several weeks ago from high-school where he said a girl who had dropped out of school because she got pregnant came to visit the school with the baby and her mother. She said everyone was coo-ing over the baby and acting like everything was just fine…
He said she has ruined her life or at-least made one much harder for herself than it would have been.
I explained to him that it wasn’t the babies fault that the mother and father of the baby made questionable choices. He said even the mother was acting “happy” about it. He said that he felt this was sending out the wrong message to other teens… And you know what? I have to agree with him.
We preach the horrors of teen pregnancy, but then we console them once it happens because we know once you get pregnanct you can’t go back… When other teens see this they get the wrong message.
I had a long talk with my older children after this happened. I asked how would they live, etc… My third oldest daugther said she would just get on food-stamps. I told her you cant get food-stamps if you don’t have an address. You can’t have an address if you don’t have a job. You can’t get a job that pays decent to pay for a address when you are under 18 or in most cases even over 18. And you cant even get financial aid on child care to get a job unless youve been on the list for at-least a year.
So, basically your placing an extra burdon on someone, wether it be us or her “Baby-Daddy” parents they would have no way to live unless its in a shelter and who wants to raise a child in a shelter. I explained even though we are a family and would stick together, many girls don’t have our kind of family. Many girls get disowened and put out to fend for themselves.
I personally believe in preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Young adults can not make well informed decisions unless we expose them to the worst case senereo.
Wow Dale. When did you grow up on me? Listen, I totally agree with all that you said and how you handled it with your kids. I have one question. When Zoe gets old enough to have the talk can I bring her to you?
Shit Happens. It happens everyday….The girls are basicly stuck with the child and I say stuck because it is just what happens. In a case like that if the kids wants to stay together then let them, but they can live at home. The boy needs to have responsiblities so does the girl. Do Not Marry or rush into it. Let them finish school, find a way, let them participate in all activies, sports, proms. etc. I know its hard on the girls parents, but when the week end comes the boys parents can either have the girl and baby over or just the baby if no one is longer talkin. Try to be civil, remember you have a new born and they need care and love. Also if the couple does not want to stay together and you are the boys parents, make sure he visits, intends to pay support and stays in the childs life, same with the girl, we have way too many dead beat dads and I need a life of my own Moms. Don’t put the burden on the grandparents, but be real about it, remain level headed, as hard as it may be. And no one ever has to be ashamed, life is too wonderful for all that.
@Dale & Debbie, I hear what you are saying, and I don’t completely disagree with any of it. My main point is as fracch said, shit happens. Now what are we going to do about it.
I just don’t think that humilitating Bristol to the entire United States is the way to accomplish anything. Maybe if Mom and daughter had a better relationship the pregnancy wouldn’t have happened. I also agree with frachh completely in her “do not marry or rush into it.” So many divorces and broken homes due to this. Not that single motherhood is a charm either, but maybe this way the child wouldn’t be involved in nasty fights and arguing.
I do agree with you that teenage motherhood is sometimes glamorized. What about the pregnancy packs that were going around some high schools not too long ago. I also do not agree with babysitting services in high schools. I know the girl should still get an education, but I supported my kids and don’t want to be supporting everyone elses.
I also agree with the fact that so many people go on disability or get welfare as a way of life. Sure, welfare to get back on your feet, and disability if it is justified. I just know too many people that take advantage of both of these government systems. It seems like the people that can scam others get the support, and the honest people who need it can’t qualify.
@ fracch….”No one ever has to be ashamed, life is too short for that.” AGREED COMPLETELY.
Oh I agree… But answer isn’t what are you going to do AFTER they get pregnant… The answer is how do you stop them from getting pregnant in the first place!
MY 15 year old is again seeing the same little bastard that she sent the 4000 text messages to a few months ago. He dumped her after he found out I was going to get the police involved to get a record of what the 4000 texts were about. Now that things have calmed down he has come sniffing back around. She wants to go see Twilight with her. I told her that was fine but we ALL would also be there.
He is also 15. Has already been in trouble with the law over drugs. Admits that he is sexualy active, yada yada yada…. I’ve never told her she couldn’t see him although she does know that she is not allowed to date… ANYONE…
He may come to church to see her. They can go to the movies as long as her older brother who is 18 or an adult is with them. I REFUSE to give them ANY oportunity, or at-least I stop as many oportunities as I can…
She is a pretty good girl so I want to trust her, but once the harmones kick in and if she thinks she is in love, the fight is really going to be on! She knows the type of person he is, and I am trying to let her make her own decision to distance herself from his kind of influence without getting involved….
Yes shit happens… It happened to my oldest daughter. Can’t always stop it but you can do the best you can and coloring the sky with rainbows isn’t the way.
They need to understand that having a child as a teen can change your WHOLE life so much they need to see the worst it can be and understand they or SOME can stand the potential of haveing to live on the streets in boxes and thier child starving to death while they have to prostitute themselves for food… Yes, it sounds harsh and ugly but the truth is the truth and protecting your kids from the ugly side of reality can give them false expectations.
Here is the thing, no parent wants to think their child is sexually active when they are a teen. Now if you have a great open relationship with your kid, put her on birth control.
That does not give her the right to have sex any place time or day…but is a safe way. As for a boy, all you can do is talk to them and assure them they should use protecion and if not what could happen. No matter what it still happens. It has from the begining of time. You have to have a perfect person not to do anything. No one realizes what all comes about afterwards when the baby is here. Raising a chld when you are a child is very hard. It takes an understanding family to go thru all of this. Reality is reality. So don’t avoid talks and situations with your child as they grow. But don’t push it in their face. Its a very hard road to walk down.
I agree with you 100%. And yes we are very open about sex and even talked to her about birth control several years ago. She flipped out!
She is not like any of my other kids. She has always been quiet. And QUIET = SNEAKY! She is very sneaky. I usually stay on top of things and catch her! So, before I put boards over the windows and padlocks on the doors I want to give her a chance to see if she will use what she has been given to make good decisions on her own. DADDY IS WATCHING!!!!
My oldest son told him when they all went to the movies together, “Anything you do to her, I’m gonna do to you”! LOL….